I am a Monad

I began this blog on Monday, May 17th, 2010, right around the end of my freshman year of college. Here’s an excerpt from my first post:

“Female. 19. Follower of Christ. College student. Ridiculously interested in learning. Everything. Reading. Everything. Writing. Artistic ventures. Music: vocal and instrumental. I journal, I essay, I expound my personal life’s philosophy for the world. ”

Some of these things are still true. I am female. I am a Christ follower. I am still in school, although graduate seminary has replaced college, which would presuppose a love of learning, reading, and writing. I research, I journal, I write and write and rewrite. I am a little pretentious.

In other ways, I am very different than I was at 19. When I was 19, as you will see from some of the older posts on this blog, I was confused, lost, insecure, and mourning the lost safety of my sheltered childhood. At 19, I had a much firmer grasp on God and theology than I do now and than I ever expect to have again. At 19, I was still months away from my first real faith crisis, my first boyfriend, my first drink, my first solo vacation.

In many ways I still feel like a monad:

“Why monads? Our dear friend Gottfried Leibniz proposed monads as simple creatures which contain within them the course of the world and all the possible choices each individual could make. I am small and insignificant: no one knows me or cares about my writing. But maybe someday they will. Maybe someday I will take my potentials and turn them into actuals. After all, I’d hate for my monads to get bored and leave me, wouldn’t you?

I am a monad, and I choose to participate in my own reality.”

These things are still true: I want to say something that matters. I want to be an active participant in my life and do something that matters.

A new blog seems appropriate at this point in my life. In 32 days , not that anyone’s counting, I will finish seminary and embark on a new adventure – Elizabeth, after education.

What will I do?

Who will I be?

Answers? Stay tuned.


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